How well have we known affection? Like a silence we seep into, and a hold that always feels ‘not enough’! You look at the irony of the moment, of sensations that have always felt repulsive to you, and then you find yourself so much indulged into a single entity, a single emotion that everything wrong now feels right.
Do you know of how expectations disperse? You find a string that could go wrong in so many places, and honest in just one, but you still choose to believe against the odds. Because you know, that’s what trusting means.
You look at your happy self, at the smile that’s projected at you, and you feel the honesty in the curve and the wetness that’s reflecting at you, and you didn’t know that happiness could be being so free and safe and comfortable. You stop looking for a reason to let go, and everything that you hated starts pulling away.
But how can you be sure? Do you ever! You could never know about the existence of a pebble until it comes pecking into your sole and you revert to direct it the attention it desires. And that’s what we did, we knocked into each other’s conscious until we started imagining unconsciously of how that absence would feel like. And when realization was there, the pebble was more than just a nobody, it had found fate.
When reality starts seemingly filled with colors, you look at more than just a pale palm or the pink within it, the mere transitions that happen in the act of being shy starts fruiting up to you. And you know how beautiful company could be.
You look at the moments flowing by, of a place that reeks of comfort, and a journey that’s no longer filled with misery. You let go of reasons that kept you from drifting away, and push yourself to fly back, for the destination was never again the same.
You ask how the tables changed, but wasn’t it more than that? Like you look at an art, but never see the journey that it made. Like a story that could never actually be known until it haswept for at least once.
And that moment was that cry, that reason to push together, a moment to fight and survive, a memory and a place that could never ever be ‘not true’. For you feel that overwhelming force, that voice that knows your insecurities, the whisper that always speaks to protect you, and still every feeling within you pushes to live in the moment.
And the moment keeps vanishing, and reappearing from within the lost moments, and moments that could never be lost. Every contradiction beats into you, and the knock only gets louder. But they never arrive, not the way we expect them to, and when we try to look back, theirs only a sense of belonging that creeps into you. Like you know of the strangeness and the peace, like you take a leap of faith and a moment to relive, something feels like a reality you never knew, and still it feels wrong in moments you can’t contain yourself.
Do you know of that anxiety? Yes, of the passion that has no bounds to stop at, of a sensation that could never be wrong but could also be ‘not right’! We know of the challenges that one could face, and of the dilemma that would make you falter at each decision, but we still choose those split second moments, that trust that we’ve built in stories leading up to that.
Every feeling in your gut might tell you otherwise, but that in your heart, one that shapes every leap you ever take, it would ask you, beg you to not give up.
Because you know, sometimes you could be unsure, and the world could be wrong in every way you could think of, but still be right in that one singleton moment.
And it’s in that moment, we become timeless.