Guilt. That’s what comes to my mind
as I look back
to when it all began.
Maybe we were wrong, maybe the world was,
maybe all I did was to follow a heart
that seemed to flutter
in the existence of him.
And I became happy!
Was it so wrong
to choose a path
that everyone opposed?
But this painful heart, it loved the way it felt!
The world was my battlefield,
and we were all just pawns
in a quest to prove our existence
in the game of life.
And in that, I found someone,
within whom my existence mattered,
I mattered,
and for that, I felt good.
They said it was wrong,
but false they are,
for everything that’s not right,
everything they don’t connect to
doesn’t make them true,
it just means we’re different,
it just means I’m happier.
I made memories, and they breathed
of a time when the stars came up in the sky,
I slept underneath and wondered,
of a time when the sun shone bright
and everything felt safe.
And that’s what mattered!
The wheels changed direction, I know,
and I was back where it began,
the details changed a bit,
and I hurtful a lot.
But it was fine,
I knew what it meant to be happy,
and the world had changed this time.
They had given me their decree, their views
and I was fine through it all,
I managed to win a war
that most are made to fail,
I lived through a time
that nobody knows how to survive,
but they do, and I would too.
Cause forgotten I have, the realms of the slave,
that I was, that I became
in the glaze of their flame,
a tragedy of the past, a blight of the present,
dreaming a future that was never pleasant.
I tripped, and I rose,
to find a day
that changed its course,
but I had lost the dead weight now,
the guilt all gone,
and nothing else held me back
into the fallen self you had become.
The flame dissolved in its cold graces,
shifting the turn of cycle’s faces,
and I realized I didn’t need others anymore,
to have that smile, to hide that cry,
to depend on a arm to rely.
I am my own person,
and I could be happy,
in a life that’s made to oppose
what we wish to choose.
I look at you, in your pesky fight,
millennia away from influencing my light,
past you were, nightmare that was,
a momentary setback,
some forgotten fallen stars…
·poetry