Breakdown!

Ever tried one? It’s kind of refreshing, you know.
Well, the onset, not so much. You would have all those unsaid emotions and feelings inside of you that you would wish all of it to vanish. Distractions works to some extent then, but it won’t always be enough.
Every now and then, those feelings would over power anything you put in between, and it would start haunting you for the lies that you have formed for yourself. And then, no kind of work, or distraction would work. It’s like breathing, you get used to it and then you just can’t stop yourself.
After that, it would come the time to overthink. Not many people have that problem, at least not on the outside. Overthinking is entirely independent of you IQ, rather your emotional quotient surely plays a vital role. The more EQ you have, and the depth of empathy that you could have for others, determines the level of over-thinker you are.
But overthinking isn’t bad, it’s just a addictive habit, one that never goes away. And once you have done that, you could never be the same.
But in that span of the emotions surging inside of you, it’s not only dangerous, deathly even. Every permutation and combination goes through your mind, and you try to find all the ways that your life could turn once you show the working of your mind. And in every conclusion, you fail to have the courage to let go.
But this surge inside of you, it doesn’t always start from beginning. Every time you have that phase, something new stacks up, and the burden only becomes more difficult to bear.
But overthinking isn’t the stage before breakdown, it’s emotional awakening.
We all deem that we are alone in this crowd of people that surround us. But often we aren’t. We just choose to keep ourselves that way, fearing of the after effects of what would happen once we open ourselves up. And because of that, even with so many connections and constant attachment with everyone, we have no one to talk to in these times of need.
And in that way, we all preach ourselves as another introvert in the club. But nobody in that club takes on the courage to come out and break off their mask.
But emotional awakening, it’s a troublesome and entirely unpredictable scenario. For some, if life resolves them of their pain sooner, they are approached by that one friend that cares too much for the people around them. A push here, a pull there, some shout-outs and a warm tight hug, and maybe that breakdown would come through.
For people that just won’t let go of their pain that easily, it takes a big event that becomes so over-whelming that they can’t hold onto the plug anymore.
And that’s when all hell breaks lose.
You know, there are people who say that it’s weak to show your tears. But they are wrong. It might be the hardest thing to do, even much harder to open your heart to someone.
Crying in front of someone takes a lot of guts, and it doesn’t mean that that person is weak, it just means that they don’t fear expressing themselves.
And once you have done that, the world just feels so much lighter. And the next time something like that happens, you have a way to relieve yourselves.
“It’s alright to feel yourselves messed up, and it’s fine expressing how you feel, and coming out with what burdens you.” I could say this to any burdened soul out there. Somehow, in some way, we’ve all gone through that time, or maybe are yet to have that. But let me tell you, it’s completely alright to show what you feel, and it’s fine too if that hurts someone else.
Maybe you didn’t fill in their expectations of you, or maybe you didn’t fulfill the criteria that you’ve set for yourselves, but life is never fun if you yourself aren’t happy in it.
And life is not living if you aren’t happy in it. That would just make it survival. If that’s all you wish for, there’s no point in keeping yourselves in pain.
So whatever way you might want to take, or whatever reason might pull you down, we all need at least one breakdown to feel everything with more freedom. We all need a pushover to look at the colors with more warmth and longing.